Self-love is very important for being able to survive and do well in a society that is constantly trying to make us feel bad about ourselves or like we are not good enough. However, it can be hard to have self-love because of the same society. I have dealt with depression and anxiety before, so I know how much effort it can take just to get through each day. When you are just barely managing, it can feel like self-love is something that you cannot afford to have.
We are not defined by the struggles we face, money we don’t have, dreams we haven’t fulfilled, people who have failed us, and unfair expectations we place upon ourselves.
What Exactly Is Radical Self-Care?
This means putting ourselves and our own needs first, even if it goes against what others want or expect from us. It means having the courage to say no to others, even when it may not be popular or well-received. And it means making choices based on what is best for us, rather than what is easiest or most convenient. In other words, radical self-care is about making choices that are in alignment with our own needs and values – even if those choices are not in alignment with the needs or values of others.
It means going beyond simply understanding the concept of self-care to taking action and making it a priority, knowing that we need to take care of ourselves first before we can help others.
We may need to change the way we take care of ourselves, from methods that help us just survive to those that help us thrive even when our lives are constantly changing.
There is no single definition of self-care, as it differs from person to person. However, some form of self-care typically includes activities that help you relax, such as those mentioned in articles about the best self-care tips. For some people, self-care may be as simple as taking a nap, showering, or attending therapy appointments on a regular basis.
Self-Care Must Be Inclusive and Accessible for Everyone
Wellness is a complex combination of our physical, mental, and emotional health. Wellness cannot be bought and there is no single foolproof method of taking care of oneself that always leads to wellness. Instead, wellness is achieved when physical, mental, and emotional health are all in balance.
No two people have the same life experiences, so self-care will look different for everyone. It’s important to have a self-care routine that works for you, and it shouldn’t be something that is unattainable or too expensive.
A lot of the time, people perceive self-care as something that only those who have money or time, or who are physically able, can do.
When we don’t talk about taking care of the entire human race and not just ourselves, it shows that we’re not socially aware and that we’re not doing our part for humanity.
No one should feel excluded or like an outsider when taking care of themselves because every person has the right to live a healthy life, no matter who they are or where they come from.
Taking care of oneself is important for everyone in order to manage external stress, preserve and improve one’s health, and maintain a positive outlook.
Ways to Incorporate Radical Self-Care Into Your Daily Life
Being A Better Friend To Myself
If my friend told methey were feeling down, I would first ask them what was wrong and give them ample time to explain what they were going through. Then I’d do my best to provide a supportive and non-judgmental emotional space. That’s what friends are for, right?
It is difficult for us to support ourselves in the same way because we expect more from others than we do from ourselves.
I have realized that it is okay for me to be friends with myself. Everyone is worthy of having friends and being emotionally invested in. I should treat myself like I would treat a friend. For example, if my emotions are intense, I should ask myself where they are coming from instead of bottling them up. It is also important for me to give myself space to experience my feelings without judging them. Lastly, I should remind myself of my good qualities often, and try to understand why I have a hard time seeing those things in myself.
Giving myself permission to accept my own compassion
I used to be really hard on myself, but I’ve realized that I deserve the same compassion that I extend to others. We’re all human, with strengths and weaknesses, and we all need love and support. That’s what ties us all together.
This mantra is meant to help you remember that you are worthy of your own compassion. The more you remind yourself of it, the more likely you are to internalize it, or at least start to feel less resistance to the idea. Re-training your neural pathways can help you to believe this mantra.
“I want to figure out what my heart is telling me to do, even if it’s different from what other people want.”
If you, like me, grew up being an emotional caretaker for others, you may have internalized the idea that it is selfish to think about your own needs when other people are relying on you.
In other words, if I hadn’t gone to college far away from home, I wouldn’t have developed a strong sense of self-love and individuality. However, if it had been up to my mom, I would have stayed closer to home because she was focused on being a mother and didn’t have a plan for her life after her children grew up.
It took me about a decade to stop feeling guilty about the fact that I had become an adult and was allowed to live my life how I wanted to. I had to learn that taking care of others at your own expense can become pathological accommodation. This is when a person learns to suppress parts of themselves to maintain a relationship with someone else, at the expense of their own development.
You should still take your loved ones into consideration when making big life decisions, but you should also recognize yourself as someone who deserves love too.
Take Mindful Moments
This easy practice can take a short amount of time, depending on what you need, and can be done almost anywhere.
With your eyes closed, take several deep breaths, rolling your shoulders back and adjusting your posture to straighten up. Check in with yourself by asking what you need for the moment, the day, or the week.
It is best if the solution to the problem can be found right away. If not, take some time to figure out a plan to take care of the problem yourself.
Identifying what you need in order to reduce stress, improve focus, and boost creativity can make it much easier to give those things to yourself on a regular basis.
Move Like You Mean It!
Engaging in physical activity can have positive effects on our physical and mental health, and it doesn’t have to mean spending hours at the gym. Short bursts of activity throughout the day can be just as beneficial.
Start by working out for 20 minutes, three times a day.
It requires dedication and preparation, but many people find it less distressing to locate these brief moments daily rather than setting aside an entire hour.
There are several benefits to being physically active, including reducing stress, improving mental focus, and aiding in better sleep.
Here are some simple ways to improve your well-being while working from home: take a quick walk outside, dance to some of your favorite songs, or do some stretches or bicep curls during a call when you’re not speaking (with the camera off, of course).
Daily Attitude of Gratitude
There are clinical studies that show journaling or other similar activities can be beneficial to your health.
If we focus on what we are grateful for, we can reduce negative thoughts and see the positive things in our lives. This can help us feel accomplished.
We can sometimes get caught up in only looking at what we have yet to do or achieve in life. This can help us to stop and appreciate ourselves and our loved ones for how far we have already come.
Finding gratitude even in our smallest wins can help build our confidence and self-esteem.
Nourish Your Body
Self-love is giving your body what it needs to feel good. This can be exercise, eating healthy foods, or anything else that makes you feel good.
Create Your “No” List
It is just as important to know what to stop doing in order to take care of oneself as it is to know what to do.
Saying no to things that don’t serve us, or that we don’t have time for, is a form of self-care. It’s important to learn how to set boundaries so we can take care of ourselves properly.
If we do this, it might give us more time for ourselves, which we didn’t think we had before. It also means we would spend our time on things and with people that are most important to us.
Pick Your Power Word
Selecting a power word can help you be more deliberate in creating and sticking to a daily self-care routine. This word can serve as a reminder of what is most important to you and help keep your self-care activities aligned with your needs.
An example of how this could work is if you have a lot of things to do in one day and it’s easy to get sidetracked, choosing the word “focus” can help keep you on track with what you need to do.
Words have power. Words can affect our mood and provide emotional stability during tough times. Choose your words wisely.
They can also inspire us to stay focused on our goals and help us develop healthy habits.
Asking For Help
Reaching out for help with our self-love journeys can be difficult, but it can also be a very powerful and humbling experience that reminds us of how interconnected we all are, and how we as humans need others to thrive. I myself have reached out to friends, family, and therapists to help me process the negative things that life has thrown my way. And during these times I have realized that I was lacking a community of people who shared some of my experiences. So I took to the internet to try and find this community, and it led me to some offline experiences as well!
Although asking for help is often seen as a sign of weakness, everyone deserves access to quality psychological support, regardless of gender, race, class, sexuality, religion, or any other factor. This is especially true for those who are expected to “act like a man” and may feel that therapy is only for white people. However, there are many therapists of color who are competent and culturally sensitive.
Recognizing That Self-love Isn’t A Linear Process
You cannot “figure out” self-love and then have it be something you possess. Self-love is a relationship with yourself, and like any good relationship, you have to work at it, rework it, and tweak it. You also have to embrace it despite its quirks.
Loving yourself isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it in the end.
Self-Care: The Takeaway
As we start to recover from tough times, it’s important not to forget to take care of ourselves and not get too busy again.
We know that we do not have the ability to control the events that we come across, but by practicing radical self-care we can give ourselves the capability to deal with stress, become more resilient, and keep healthy boundaries.
Not every item on this list (or any other list) will be for you and that’s okay.
Self-care is about taking care of yourself and doing things that make you happy. It is important to find things that make you feel peace, nourish you, and make you feel joyful. Everyone’s self-care will be different, so it is important to find what works for you.
