If I see something I absolutely love and tell my young sons about it, they’ll frequently quip, “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” We laugh because it’s always something that makes no sense to marry, like Jimmy Choo shoes, a fabulous car, or a gorgeous painting. But they recognize how much I adore that item.
While that’s certainly not true love, have you ever experienced a love for something or someone that is so deep that you would go out on a limb to protect it, talk about it, share it? Ever experienced so much amazement about something that you beam from ear to ear every time you think about it? Perhaps it’s when you gave birth to your baby, got your first pet, bought a new car, found the perfect house, or met a new significant other.
At such times, you likely are experiencing extreme or euphoric feelings which can be staggering. Biochemistry tells us that at these times –such as when you exercise at peak performance or have great sex — chemicals including dopamine, oxytocin, or serotonin are released and contribute to feelings of contentment, optimism, romance, or true love. Which explains why we go back to love even after a broken heart. We are hooked on the good feeling.
On the flip side, many of us do not get that feeling when it comes to loving and respecting our bodies. In fact, a recent survey of 300 women showed that each woman had over 10 negative — even hateful — thoughts about her body every day.
Imagine what would happen if you could transfer the euphoria and power of excitement, to an amazing love of your body, so much so that you would do anything to protect it and keep it safe. Imagine yourself being so jazzed about yourself and your body that you longed to treat it with love and respect so that that nothing would harm it and that good feeling would translate to future positive actions for your body.
It’s an intriguing exercise to explore how far back in your life you’d have to go to remember the point when you loved your body. If you’ve grown to dislike your body or if you feel anything other than proud of who you are, try implementing these steps to begin self-love again.
1. Put your body at the top of your “Things I Love” list.
Make a pact with yourself that from this day on, with every iota of inner strength you have, you will treat your body with respect and you will love your body for what it is today. You’ve been through a lot with your body, so appreciate it for all it’s worth and all it has gotten you through. This may seem selfish at first, but moving your body to the top of your “things I love” list may very well bring about self love — or at least self-like — in a hurry.
2. Establish a Care Plan for Yourself
Taking action always makes us feel better. Sometimes we get so busy we forget to take care of ourselves. Develop a big-picture wellness plan for yourself. For example, every year do one thing to better your body. You may have been wanting to remove a precancerous mole, straighten your teeth, get rid of dark spots on your face or body. By implementing a plan, you will feel satisfied with yourself and your body.
3. Rethink Your Imperfections
Perception is reality so until you stop thinking that you have flaws, you will continue to live that reality. Remember, imperfections are in your own eyes. What you see as a weakness, others may see as a strength. Stop being your own worst critic and instead say, “That’s what makes me me” or “God made me that way.” Things you had been thinking of as negatives, are really your own “uniquenesses.” Beauty is both the inside and the outside of you so see yourself as “total package” beautiful.
4. Eat Body-Benefit Foods Only
Know the nutritional value including sugars, fat, protein, cholesterol, and carbohydrates, of every single thing that goes into your mouth. Know your daily intake of healthy nutrients and calories. Have a pre-plan for going out to dinner, or potlucks, or friends’ homes so that you don’t over-indulge in unhealthy foods and high calorie beverages. Be sure to discipline yourself to say no to unhealthy consumption. You know what’s bad for your body. Now steer clear and protect that body of yours.
5. Pick One Thing That’s Special about your Body.
Is it your eyes, your legs, your smile? Focus on that one physical attribute that you believe is extra-special, until you are ready to grow your list to another then another characteristic. Eventually your special list may extend to the entire you, building your love of self, one thoughtful step at a time.
Setting out to love yourself takes conscious choices and daily affirmations. Remember not to stray from your commitment to loving your body. When you stay devoted to your commitment to self, you will being to notice optimal changes in how you feel physically and emotionally about yourself. And who knows, you may begin to love your body so much you’ll want to marry it.
