Late to the New Year’s Resolution Party?

By Kristi Hoffman

Getting a late start on your New Year’s resolutions and now it’s February? Well lucky you. Join the party! February is the new January. So jump on, late “New Year New You” starters.

If hopes of starting a fresh new year filled with resolutions didn’t quite work out as planned. — health or family crises may have taken over, over-commitments didn’t allow it, poor time management took over — c’est la vie. Let’s get going #RightNow.

Here are three actions to get you February-motivated, to step aboard and get unstuck. Who says January 1 is the magic start date? “New Year New You” starts now, no matter what the calendar says!

Action #1: LOSE SOMETHING.

-Release an unhealthy habit such as smoking, over-indulging, impatience with others.

-Let go of an old routine — eating sugar-laden cereals for breakfast (try oatmeal), getting on your computer for hours every night (try talking with the family or call an old friend instead)

-Walk away from a negative, judgmental, nasty person in your world. Meanness is so last year.

-Let go of complacency and become active.

Action #2: CHANGE IT UP.

-Eat breakfast in a different chair.

-Drive the kids to school a different way.

-Get up 15 minutes earlier and read the headlines.

-Stretch before bed.

-Walk for 20 minutes in the morning.

-Have something to look forward to: spring, a vacation, a new job.

-Pray upon waking.

-Start a craft, an adventure, join a club. Start a new “thing.”

Action #3: BE THE FORCE THAT CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING.

-Smile at a stranger.

-Lead by example; people are watching, what are they learning?

-Don’t wait for someone else to tell you it’s “go” time. Take action.

-Trust your intuition.

-Speak positive words about yourself to others.

-Stop gossiping and start complimenting.

And now….. Download the Total Package Lifestyle App for daily positive #MeMantras! Your total package of Body, Brain, and Spirit will thank you! Happy New Year to you, no matter what the date is!

Let’s Make Commitments, NOT Resolutions!

By Talya Flowers

There’s a running joke in my house around the New Year that we each start our resolutions on Dec. 31 and then break them on Jan. 1. That’s a stretch, but it never fails. We become motivated to begin— we start, and then slowly everyone forgets what their new year’s resolution was in the first place. Incredible. Now instead of making ourselves crazy by starting and stopping, we just do nothing. Nothing is easier than making a resolution and sticking with it throughout the New Year.

But let me tell you a secret: doing nothing is for the mediocre. You and I are not mediocre. Doing nothing is harmful because we are subconsciously telling ourselves that we do not matter, we do not trust ourselves, and/or that we do not value ourselves to commit to our goals and see them to fruition. When I realized that I was sabotaging myself and killing all of the potential chances that I had for success: I stopped making resolutions.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

I became self-aware and critical of the damage that I was causing myself. I became critical of myself, and I started to see a major flaw with my resolutions: I had the heart, the motivation, and the drive, but I lacked action. I constantly told myself that I would lose weight this year and when winter hit, I was back to the old me. It was a vicious cycle: I exercised extensively during the summertime. I would lose all the weight that I had gained. BUT I was not enjoying my summer because I was too busy exercising all of the weight off. By winter, I had amassed even more weight than what was lost. I was in a sense driving my own self crazy and sending the message that I could not be trusted.

A major shift occurred when a friend said “you are letting yourself go!” It was the truth. I did, I was, and I had. I had to start making some drastic changes. The next day after our heart-to-heart, while at work, I pulled out some construction paper, a marker and began to write out the goals that I had for the year. High on my new list was a healthy lifestyle and daily exercise. Instead of telling myself that I would start in a week or so, or when I felt like it, I started the next day. I woke up at 5 a.m. and began to run. On days that had prior commitments or needed to go to work early, I woke up even earlier. Why? Because instead of making a resolution, I made a goal, and a commitment to myself. I told myself that I was too valuable to accept any more lies. I told myself that I deserved to consume nothing but the best foods—healthy foods. As I reprogrammed my palette and mindset, the weight came off, and I began to work on other goals, always aware that being healthy is the first priority.

I am proud to say that was two years ago, and I am still going strong. I even went running in the cold several times, and it was fantastic. On the days that I do not go outside, I join a workout class, and, for me, it is mandatory and not optional.

Here are my six tips for keeping commitments:

1. Decide now

You are not a victim. You have the power to create and choose. Colossians 3:2 is a powerful reminder that once a decision has been made our minds will actively create pathways for success, but you cannot be double-minded. You have to decide and be firm and resolute.

2. Value yourself

I have been on this two year life style change because I learned to value myself. How much are you worth? How much do you value yourself? Those are two of the best questions to ask yourself before starting a new commitment.

3. Use Declarations/Affirmations

I am a giant fan of affirmations so on the days that I did not feel like getting out of bed at 5 a.m., I would ask myself “How much do you value yourself?” and then my body would jolt out of bed. Two of the best affirmations for starting difficult changes are “I can do whatever I need to do in life through Christ, and I am disciplined and self-controlled,” which came from Joyce Meyer’s book Power Thoughts.

4. Visualize success

I never visualize myself to be skinny, I visualize myself to be healthy. And even still, I try not to visualize myself skinny because it becomes frustrating when the image in my head is not congruent with my body. I don’t do that, instead, I visualize myself cooking a healthy meal, getting out of bed excited to go running and fuel up my day, or meeting new friends during a group fitness class. Train your mind, like your body, to work for you and not against you.

5. Write out your goals

The minute I wrote out my goals on a large piece of paper and put them on my wall, my brain automatically reminded me of the commitment I made. Your mind will ensure that you do not forget.

6. Make a commitment

Once a commitment has been made on the inside, life begins to portray the fruits of your labor on the outside. It requires dedication and self-control and discipline. But you are worth it, remember?

Well, what are you waiting for? If you’re nervous, make a small commitment and increase as you go. I know right now, I am making huge commitments because I trust myself to only succeed. I know that I used the example of weight loss but you can make a commitment in any area of your life that has left you feeling stumped. For some, it is financial, mental, emotional, or relational struggles, but whatever it is make a decision that some things are going to have to change, and then begin to implement strategies for those changes. For 2016, the biggest commitment that I have made is stepping outside of my comfort zone and aiming higher because I want to succeed. How badly do you want it? Only you can define what “it” is, exactly.

12 Wrong Assumptions People Often Make About Their Life

By Dr. Carol Morgan

So you think you know how the world works, huh? Sure, we all do. We all like to think that we have it figured out. But do you really? Many times, people make assumptions about life that simply aren’t true. Here are 12 of them.

1. People are watching your every move and judging you.

We live in a world that is highly judgmental. Every time you open up a celebrity magazine, you read about how the latest beautiful actress has suddenly gotten “fat.” And if you’re not a superstar in your chosen field or your kids aren’t getting straight As, then you’re a loser. At least that’s probably what goes through your head. And you also think that’s what other people think. They don’t. Most people are so busy judging themselves that they don’t even give you much thought at all.

2. You have “failed,” when in fact you just haven’t succeeded yet.

Anyone who has ever achieved greatness has “failed” more times than they have succeeded. Donald Trump lost all his money many times, only to make it back again. George Lucas got Star Wars turned down by countless movie studios. And Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team. If any of them had given up because they thought they had “failed,” then where would they be now? Nowhere.

3. If you ignore a problem, it will go away.

Ahhhhh. The ostrich. Keeping your head in the sand and hoping the problem will go away. Well, here’s a newsflash for you: It won’t. I don’t care what the problem is—it can be problems with your marriage, at your job, your kids—it won’t go away unless you take action to fix it.

4. You need to be perfect.

You don’t. Perfection is just an illusion. It doesn’t really exist! The problem is that we all think it exists. What is “perfect” for one person is not perfect to another. It’s all subjective. So instead of chasing perfection, how about chasing happiness instead? Do things you love. Spend time with people who make you happy. That’s a much better goal than non-attainable perfection.

5. Everything that goes wrong is other people’s fault, not yours.

Personal responsibility—it’s a lost art in our culture. We see this every time we hear crazy law suits where someone is suing a restaurant because they spilled their own hot coffee on themselves. Sure, other people contribute to problems. But it’s up to us to adjust our attitude and reactions to that. All you can control is your perception of the problem, and then take action toward personal responsibility.

6. You just can’t do it.

You can. You can do anything that you set your mind to. So stop making excuses. I don’t care what your goal is, if you want it badly enough, you will find a way. If you don’t want it enough, you will find excuses. Spend some time really examining what you want. Then go after it.

7. All of your expectations of other people are reasonable.

Expectations are deadly. If people don’t live up to your expectations, then you are disappointed and it creates problems. Think about this: how do you feel when other people place expectations on you? It feels suffocating, doesn’t it? So let people be who they are. If you don’t like it, then stop hanging around them.

8. You think “this” is permanent. It’s not.

I don’t care what “it” is: an unsatisfying job, unemployment, being single, or being in debt. It can all be changed. All you need to do is believe it. Then take action. The only thing that is permanent is death. All other things change. One of the sayings I love is, “And this too shall pass.” It’s true. Really, it is!

9. You’re not important.

Everyone is important. You don’t need to be a CEO of a company or Oprah to be important. We all have our own little niche in the world. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, you are hugely important to your kids. If you’re a cashier at a fast food restaurant, you’re important to the people who are trying to buy food. Reframe “important” and believe that you are valuable in your own way.

10. You think you’re always right.

Perception is reality. That’s a motto I live by. And you should too. Just because you don’t agree with someone else’s point of view, well, that doesn’t make them wrong. And just because they don’t agree with you doesn’t make you wrong either. Everyone is “right” because it is their perception of a situation that matters. And that’s it. So agree to disagree.

11. Something is holding you back.

The only thing holding you back is yourself. Examine your beliefs. Do you think you’re smart? Capable? Worthy? That you can add value to the world? If you don’t, then you need to figure out why because those thoughts are like a cage that keep you stuck. Being stagnant isn’t healthy. So learn to get out of your own way and believe you can do it!

12. You can’t be happy.

You can. It doesn’t take money. It doesn’t take beauty. It doesn’t take fame. It doesn’t take any of that to be happy. But you know what it does take? A decision. A decision to be happy. Yep. That’s it! Another motto I have is, “It’s only a problem if you think it’s a problem.” It’s all about viewpoint and attitude. You are in control of both of those. So changing your thinking will change your life and ultimately make you happy!

Reset Your Patterns: 10 New Habits To Try

By Cierra Savatgy-King

Do you wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, and do it again the next day? Have you found yourself rinsing and repeating?

I know this story all too well. And I never thought I would. Somehow the day-to-day shuffle found roots in me and it was like an invasive plant. The nasty roots kept growing. My life was an auto-pilot, and I wasn’t taking notice of the beautiful, magnificent world around me.

After some ah-ha moments of realizing my patterns weren’t healthy, I acknowledged something had to change. I shook it up big time to try to loosen those nasty roots so I could put them back in a healthy place.

I put my life in a storage unit, started renting vacation rentals and moving every two weeks in my home town. Among the lost clothes and shoes, I somehow found myself because I wasn’t on auto-pilot anymore. I was forced to wake up and look around me (literally, I had to remember where I lived). My comfort zone had to be broken down just a bit.

Getting out of our comfort zone doesn’t necessarily have to mean jumping off of a cliff when you’re terrified of it, or quitting your job right now because it’s not perfect. Sometimes it’s the tiny things we do that allow us to see life just slightly differently: and then those big steps aren’t clouded with fog. Clarity emerges.

After more than a year of living in vacation rentals, I wanted to share the top 10 tiny things that contributed to a monumental change in my life by simply resetting daily patterns.

Here are 10 simple ways to reset your daily patterns to turn off auto-pilot and allow for self discovery:

1. Drive home a different way.

When living at 17 homes in Austin in a year, I literally had to remember where I lived. I had to be awake and aware. I started finding new streets with beautiful parks & creeks that I had always just driven by before.

2. Stop using the word “busy.”

When someone asked how I was, I used to always respond with, “busy.” I realized how often I was using this and how it provides no value to say it. We are all busy! It’s like answering, “I’m alive! And you?” I tried not allowing myself to use this word for a month, then realized how big of a change I felt. I now consider “busy” profanity in my house. Consider the question with a real response. It shifts the energy. “Today I’m excited because I just killed it in my presentation.” “Really? What was it about?” Boom. Authenticity unites.

3. Call your barista by their name.

It somehow feels awkward for me to do this. I don’t think it’s just me, because I noticed most of us don’t do it…even when the person is wearing a nametag. Test it out: you may be surprised at how it actually wakes up the person in front of you and they engage with you personally. It’s a fun experiment.

4. Do your daily walks/runs backwards.

Not literally backwards, though that would shake it up too. Go the opposite way you normally go. Or pick a different path altogether, even if you have to drive 3 minutes to get to another neighborhood. Houses, trees, and yards look different. You don’t know what’s right around the next corner.

5. Pick a restaurant or bar you’ve never been to.

The next time a friend suggests happy hour, look for a place you’ve never been before. I am prone to pick the places I know I can find parking at and I know the drinks will be a hit. But living in different neighborhoods in my town required me to take a look at restaurants and bars I wouldn’t have necessarily gone to. What better discovery than new places to share a cocktail!?

6. Dance like a complete fool with a ‘Morning Happy Dance’

This sounds totally silly & I may regret sharing this, but sometimes at my house we have “Morning Happy Dances.” They consist of about 30 seconds of throwing your hands around in the air, jumping with no rhythm whatsoever, making contorted movements…then going back to normal like it’s no biggie. If that doesn’t “wake me up” out of a funky pattern, I don’t know what would.

7. Switch your pantie or bra drawer.

With each house we live in, our clothes live in different closets. Our shoes go in different places. Our towels dry on different hooks. And my pantie drawer gets moved around. Instead of reaching in the exact same place each and every morning, I had to think one extra second where something was. Because it’s so minute, it doesn’t add additional stress of not finding something. It’s so incredibly tiny, but still wakes up your brain.

8. Try saying ‘yes’ to something you wouldn’t normally say ‘no’ to.

I have a friend who believes in saying ‘yes’ to almost every invite. It has led him to some incredible experiences that most of us would consider once-in-a-life. (It’s also led him to being taken by real pirates once, so there’s that). Point being, saying ‘yes’ to something wild can completely wake up every inch of your senses. A friend invited me to a trapeze class. “What? You want me to fly through the air, 40 feet up with no training?” I did it. My hands were shaking like I’ve never shaken before – and I’m not even afraid of heights. It was truly terrifying. But holy crap, it was amazing. I felt more free than I’d felt in years. I walked away like I was on top of the world.

9. Try saying ‘no’ to something you normally say ‘yes’ to.

Alternately, I’ve had some serious breakthroughs saying ‘no’ this year. I tend to pack my schedule completely full. The old me would think if my calendar wasn’t filled, I was doing something wrong. But what actually has happened with some empty slots, besides less stress and ‘me time’, is that open slots have allowed for spontaneity with things I truly care about. It never gets written in my calendar, it just happens.

10. Set a goal (with a deadline) and reach it.

This can be small and attainable. It’s so easy to say someday you’ll do this or that, but then we get filled with guilt for NOT doing it. We can’t always do everything we want, but something changes inside us when we reach a goal. This month for me was getting up on stage & singing karaoke at the neighborhood karaoke joint. I did it it, and I feel like I surpassed a big hump. For me, it isn’t just about pushing myself out of my comfort zone, but working towards something. Like finishing a painting, picking up the phone and calling an old friend, taking a dance class, or even having a “first date” with yourself to consider setting some big goals. Pick something small, put a short deadline on it, and just do it. I was surprised how this change in pattern made the BIG goals much less scary to conquer.

I’m a work in progress, like we all are. Some days I do the above magnificently well. Others I stumble and fall right back into my previous patterns. But, realizing that small changes in my pattern can wake me up gets me excited to try something different.

These experiences have inspired me to think differently, act differently, and see the world just at a slightly different angle. I still wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, and go to sleep, but I’m doing it awake. These tiny changes made a monumental impact in my life.

I hope one or two of these makes an impact in your life.

6 Self-Analyzing Questions

By Dick Sutphen

He teaches best what he most needs to learn, so when I tell you this, I’m really telling myself. What you think, feel and say about the circumstances in your life can keep you from acting to remedy situations that need to be resolved. We often lie to ourselves, not consciously, but by accepting circumstantial evidence as truth. And it can keep us from experiencing our power.

1. What career negativity have you accepted?

Take a look at your career and explore any kind of programming you have accepted that isn’t serving you. Assumed limitations and faulty assumptions can easily result from a downturn in revenue or a shift in market conditions. This kind of negative thinking can also be related to your self-image, the size of your vision, or your current feelings of power. Until you become aware of such self-imposed beliefs, it is unlikely you’ll do anything to rise above them.

As an example: I’ve been guilty of echoing the New York publishing world in saying, “New Age publishing is a dead genre.” But in reality, although the number of books being published is greatly reduced, new titles continue to come out and plenty of people want to read them. So I’m going to work on a new book.

2. What relationship negativity have you accepted?

If you’ve been dwelling upon your partner’s flaws, or a difference of opinion in regard to values or a life direction, have you allowed the differences to become a block to an otherwise good relationship? If so, your expectations are in conflict with what is. Your mate thinks one way, you think another, and that’s what is. You probably won’t be able to change their mind, so can you change your viewpoint?

In most life situations we don’t actually solve problems, except through our viewpoint-our perspective. By changing your viewpoint you can often eliminate the effects of a problem (so you’re no longer effected). And if you’re no longer effected by a problem you don’t have a problem … although nothing about the problem situation may have changed.

3. If you don’t have a primary relationship but desire one, what negativity have you accepted in regard to establishing a loving relationship?

Fate isn’t going to send a lover to your door while you sit home. You have to act. Go out and meet people. Research studies of single people who are lonely showed they often had rigid and demanding expectations about relationships. Perfectionism is not a positive trait in this area.

If you desire a relationship, ask yourself, what will change when I get what I want? Obviously a lot of things will change. Now, look at the changes you won’t like, because among these changes you’ll find the negative blocks that are keeping you from having what you want.

4. What goal-achievement negativity have you accepted? If you know what you want, what are you doing to get it?

It is easy to be discouraged, or to procrastinate when it comes to manifesting your desires. But most change takes time. The secret to success is to keep at it, step- by-step. Be tenacious and use mind-programming to remain focused and accelerate the process.

5. What Universal Laws are you failing to consider?

Where your attention goes, your energy flows. The Law of Attractions says that you attract what you are and that which you concentrate upon. If you’re negative, you draw in and experience negativity. If you’re loving, you draw in and experience love. You can attract to you only those qualities you possess. So if you want peace and harmony in your life, you must become peaceful and harmonious. So, where is your attention? What kind of energy are you generating? What are you attracting?

The Law of Attitude says, nothing in the Universe can harm you but your attitude. It is your attitude that moves you toward events and experiences and it is your attitude that will worsen or lighten any event, catastrophe, or tragedy. You and you alone choose the attitude with which you will respond.

6. Have you allowed others to fool you when it comes to self-interest?

There are three types of people to consider: 1. Self-actualized people who know they act only in their own self-interest; 2. People who know they act in their own self-interest, but attempt to make you believe otherwise; 3. People who don’t allow themselves to know their own truth and sincerely believe that other people’s interests are put before their own.

Become involved with the first type of person, one who acknowledges how the game of life is played. The second type is attempting to fool you. The third type fools himself and also attempts to fool you.

Anything you want that will add pleasure to your life-success, love, friendship, freedom, material items-will cost you in terms of time, energy, money, sacrifice, or any combination of these things. If you don’t accept the cost in advance, you may regret it when the bill comes due.

Stop “Believing In Yourself”… Just Do It!!

By Dan Munro

The education system you were raised with, if you went to a traditional school, is basically the same around the world. And it is completely messed you up.

As described in this awesome TED talk by Sir Ken Robinson (click here to view), there is a globally recognized hierarchy of subjects. Most of the world’s schooling systems subscribe to this, despite research often showing that there is no longer alignment between this hierarchy and the highest paying jobs (most are in psychology, medicine and IT, for which there are almost no specific subjects available until university level). So, the first problem is that you were discouraged from pursuing your natural talents and passions unless they aligned with this hierarchy.

The second and far more insidious problem is the structure of learning. In school you passively learn a new concept before you apply it (i.e. take action). You sit in a classroom being bombarded with information without being encouraged to apply it practically until the last minute, often in an unrealistic pressured situation.

In some high-ranking subjects, like English, the ratio between passive information and application (essays, exams, assignments) is ridiculous. You sit for 1-2 hours per week in class, for up to 40 weeks (60-80 hours of passive learning), and are then asked to apply it in high pressure exams (3-6 hours) and unsupported assignments (another 3-6 hours). So your opportunity for trial and error learning, which your brain is wired towards as a preference, is a mere 5-10% of total learning time.

Simply put, we are raised to believe that we somehow learn before we apply. For some reason, this has not been questioned by the schooling system.

In my coaching work, I’ve found that an opposing approach is far more productive. It’s all about re-framing your understanding of learning, from sitting there and passively absorbing information to getting active and trying ideas spontaneously.

There are few obstacles to this approach. Once you overcome these, your progress will skyrocket (or your money back!)

Fear of Failure

In school, you were taught to be afraid of failure. I call this the “red pen effect.” Every time you venture an incorrect answer in school you’ll face a high likelihood of punishment, through either embarrassment, dismissal, degradation, or rejection.

You learn quickly that it is safer to avoid answering a question than to guess. This is supposed to condition you into studying so that you know the answers prior to the class. That’s like asking someone who’s never driven a car to tell you the best way to parallel-park. It makes absolutely no practical sense.

In school, mistakes are highlighted and ridiculed. The teacher will write disparaging remarks in red pen next to guesses or incorrect answers. You will get into trouble if your grades fall low enough. You will be placed in “special” education, learning at a slower rate than the others, if your grades continue to remain low.

Bear in mind that this is all related to learning mostly about subjects which are not linked to the highest paying jobs!

In the real world, the ability to continually face failure is rewarded. The most successful people on the planet are those who have been through mistake after mistake, and learned from those. There are very few overnight successes in the top 1%, nor are there many people who played it safe.

Failure is something to be admired, not feared. Every time you screw up you are one step closer than 99% of people to success in that area.

Not Knowing Where to Start

School conditioned you to follow instructions and wait for guidance on how to get something started. In real life, no one tells you anything unless you’re a wage-slave.

If you want to be free, you need to accept the responsibility for initiation. It is your job to start things, even when you don’t know how. I’ve worked with some very ambitious people who had great ideas but never took action on them. It was like they were waiting for permission, or for someone to convince them that everything was going to work out fine.

There are no guarantees. Let go of the need for them. Instead, like serial entrepreneur Marie Forleo says: “Start small and sucky.” As soon as you have your first rough draft idea, take action. Even if the action is a dismal “failure,” you are now at least one step into your journey instead of sitting on the bench.

Temptation of Passive Learning

We feel good when we sit still and absorb information. It feels like real progress. This is because we were conditioned to feel rewarded for attendance. In school, you get more social reward points for simply showing up than you do for innovation.

As Eben Pagen says “Without action there is no learning.”

We feel good about ourselves when we absorb new information. This is why seminars by certain motivational speakers sell so well. You get there, you feel pumped and excited, and you are exposed to a bucket-load of new information. You walk away thinking “Wow, I learned so much!”

Fast-forward three months later, however, and your life has not changed a bit. All those revelations and epiphanies you experienced have not resulted in actual, measurable changes to your life.

“What happened?” you ask yourself. You figure it must be your fault, and that perhaps another seminar is the way to go. I mean, you felt so good the last time, right? That must be the answer.

Nope.

You’ve fallen for the oldest marketing trick in the book: you’ve been made to feel that you received value while your problem remains unsolved. This turns you into a repeat customer. Time for you to attend another seminar, or by the book, or subscribe to the monthly video series. None of which will solve your problem.

Without action there is no learning. Without learning there is no change. Without change in behavior, the results remain the same. Why is sitting there and absorbing information so tempting? Because it is EASY.

School has us believing that we are entitled to the good things in life if we just attend what we are asked to attend. It’s not the case I’m afraid.

If you want results, you need to take action. Period.

The only people who walked away from the seminar and saw actual improvements in their lives long-term were the ones who put the ideas into action. They set goals, based on behavioral changes, and went to work making them happen. They faced setbacks, misunderstandings, fear and embarrassment in order to implement the changes.

They got their money’s worth.

Focus on Outcome Instead of Process

Sometimes we do take action and yet feel like nothing’s changed. I see this all the time with clients who start working out and going to the gym, or changing their diet. Months go by and their frustration goes up due to lack of “results.” It’s only a matter of time before they give up.

You cannot control results.

Let me say that again: results are not under your control. Predicting the future is impossible.

So what does attaching your self-worth to the outcomes/results you’re after do? It puts your confidence in the hands of forces outside of your control, which will inevitably turn against you over time.

It all comes down to how you measure yourself. Let go of the results and focus on the part of the journey that is completely under your control: the process. Focus on the actions you take and efforts you make. It’s all about the attempt, not the outcome.

Let’s say you have a potential promotion coming up, and there are two choices: 1) try to write a perfect job interview script based on articles and hope to land your dream job (passive learning first with a focus on outcomes), or 2) practice being interviewed by friends you can trust and aim to use the job interview as a learning experience for your career (active learning first with a focus on process).

Which option leaves you feeling better about yourself? Which is more likely to get the result you desire?

Conclusion

You may be wondering about the title implying that “believing in yourself” is wrong. Let me clarify; this process I’m advocating is actually all about believing in yourself. But the perspective is different.

Rather than trying to be perfectly prepared before you take action, believe that you will learn what you need to learn from the experience. Believe that you will be able to handle getting it wrong. Believe that you a strong enough to face fear and rejection.

Actually, you don’t need to “believe” at all. Don’t trust it, just test it.

Use passive learning to understand your mistakes better after the attempt. By the time you attend the seminars, they should simply confirm what you’ve already found through trial-and-error, and give you ideas as to how you could do things better in the future. Make the first thing you learn be based on experience.

Just do it.

5 Questions to Ask To Overcome The Fear Of Change

By Lori Beth Huff

I want to change, but I am afraid.

Many of us wake each morning and say to ourselves, “today is the day. I want to make this change.” Something often stops us before we even get started … FEAR. Change happens everyday in our lives, whether our schedule changes, our mood, our energy level, our bank account balance, our perspectives, many things in our everyday lives are in constant change. We should be used to it, right? We should expect it!

So, why do we fear it ? We have proven to ourselves that we are masters at adapting and adjusting. Why is it difficult for us to implement changes such as losing weight, starting to exercise, thinking more positively, letting go of an unhealthy relationship, changing careers, or giving up destructive habits?

One of the reasons we are so good at adapting to imposed change is that we were biologically programmed to survive and thrive. When we are forced to adjust, we do. Maybe not willingly, but ” we make it work,” as Tim Gunn would say.

When we realize that we should or need to change something in our lives, fear comes along with resistance. Emotionally and mentally, we are attached to the behavior or situation. It has become a habit, whether good or bad, which we have practiced over and over again or maintained for a long period of time. It’s really hard to let go of what we are used to doing, saying, and being.

When we really want to make a change, how do we work with our fears? How do we face our challenges? How can we finally make the transformation we desire in our lives?

Focus on your strengths. 

Most people advise us to not look back to our past. They say, “Don’t live in the past.” This is true, but when we look at what has already worked for us, we can understand and recognize our strengths. It may help to ask yourself these questions, write them down on paper, and, even, discuss your answers with a trusted friend.

1. When in your past did you overcome surmounting obstacles?

2. When have you successfully initiated action in your life?

3. Looking back, when have you been able to maintain a positive change?

4. When you did make a change, how did you go about it?

5. What strategies have worked for you in the past?

Examining your strengths and drawing upon your past successes can help you to develop a plan for immediate steps for change. Strategies that work are worth repeating. However, what works for someone else, may not work for you. Developing your own personalized plan of action based upon your past victories is often a sure bet.

Use what you know about yourself to go forward into action. Ask for help when you need it and collaborate with others for support. If you take small steps over time, you can do and be whatever you desire. It can be terrifying to change, but you’ve done it over and over again, successfully! You have weathered many storms and come through on the other side. You can do it again. When you look back, you can see just how strong and capable you are!

Reflecting on your past can rid yourself of the fear of change and make room for growth in your life. In future articles, I will continue offering practical, step by step strategies for personal growth and development. I look forward to supporting you on your way to living in your true spirit! We are in this together!

Motivational Monday: Fear-Based Emotions

By Dr. Carol Morgan

Have you ever been jealous? Felt possessive? Or perhaps envious of other people? These are called fear-based emotions. In her Motivational Monday video series, our Editor shares her thoughts on why you should pay attention to these feelings.

What should you do now? First, don’t get all freaked out by all the negative emotions you have running through your head. Instead, do something about it! Start right now … TODAY … and monitor your thoughts. The more you do that, the more you can change them into positive ones. And you know what that means. You will be much, much happier!