By Mary Miller
Have you ever had a dream you thought was real? So real that you were just about to throw down in a fist fight to stand up for what you believed in? Yep, that happened to me.
Picture this. I was at a High School graduation telling the students to forget about what society tells them and to define their own American Dream – their own version of success. And to add to the drama, then I threw cookie cutters at the oppressors symbolizing I did not agree with their ways. And as I prepared to get accosted … I woke up …
Isn’t it funny how dreams are sometimes not that far off from reality? As a society we give lip service to individuality, but when someone tries to be their true self, they are shut down, scolded, or worse. It’s not a secret that not everyone was made to achieve a Ph.D., start a business, climb the corporate ladder, or to stay home and raise a family. You get the point! We were all born with unique gifts and talents which enriches this world IF we use them.
Yet when I ask people how THEY … not their parents, teachers, family, spouse … but how THEY define success, they often say “No one has ever asked me that before.” Well my friend, I’m asking you today. How do you define your version of success? How do you throw away the cookie cutter?
Here are 5 tips to help you answer that question:
1. Repeat After Me: “I Am Not Selfish.”
Realize that defining your version of success is not selfish. Maybe you have a good job, a great husband, a nice family, but you are living your mom or dad’s version of success – and you’re miserable! Let me share a secret with you – you are not the only one! But think about this – to not let your individual light shine is actually selfish. Why? Because we all miss out on who you could become.
2. Pay Attention to Your Day Dreams.
What do you day dream about? Going on a mission trip, teaching horseback riding, inventing something, writing a book, helping people, solving math problems, editing stories, crime scene investigation, owning a farm, flying a plane … fill in the blank. Your day dreams will give you clues for defining your own version of success.
3. Listen to Others’ Comments.
What do others say you do well? Do you put information together like no one else they know? Can you bridge a tough communication gap? Are you known for reading way too many self-help books? Listen to what others are saying about your uniqueness.
4. Observe Yourself As You Play “The Game.”
Yes, life is a game that is all about connection and fitting in. How do you play that game? What part of your identify do you give up when you play? This will tell you more about your true skills, talents, and abilities.
5. Self-Discovery.
Take a personality/strengths test (i.e. Myer Briggs, DISC, Strength Finder etc.), take a personal development class, enroll in a mentor program, go to a conference, hire a coach, spend time with yourself to re-discover your strengths.
Which of these 5 tips will you put into action TODAY?
