I want to change, but I am afraid.
Many of us wake each morning and say to ourselves, “today is the day. I want to make this change.” Something often stops us before we even get started … FEAR. Change happens everyday in our lives, whether our schedule changes, our mood, our energy level, our bank account balance, our perspectives, many things in our everyday lives are in constant change. We should be used to it, right? We should expect it!
So, why do we fear it ? We have proven to ourselves that we are masters at adapting and adjusting. Why is it difficult for us to implement changes such as losing weight, starting to exercise, thinking more positively, letting go of an unhealthy relationship, changing careers, or giving up destructive habits?
One of the reasons we are so good at adapting to imposed change is that we were biologically programmed to survive and thrive. When we are forced to adjust, we do. Maybe not willingly, but ” we make it work,” as Tim Gunn would say.
When we realize that we should or need to change something in our lives, fear comes along with resistance. Emotionally and mentally, we are attached to the behavior or situation. It has become a habit, whether good or bad, which we have practiced over and over again or maintained for a long period of time. It’s really hard to let go of what we are used to doing, saying, and being.
When we really want to make a change, how do we work with our fears? How do we face our challenges? How can we finally make the transformation we desire in our lives?
Focus on your strengths.Â
Most people advise us to not look back to our past. They say, “Don’t live in the past.” This is true, but when we look at what has already worked for us, we can understand and recognize our strengths. It may help to ask yourself these questions, write them down on paper, and, even, discuss your answers with a trusted friend.
1. When in your past did you overcome surmounting obstacles?
2. When have you successfully initiated action in your life?
3. Looking back, when have you been able to maintain a positive change?
4. When you did make a change, how did you go about it?
5. What strategies have worked for you in the past?
Examining your strengths and drawing upon your past successes can help you to develop a plan for immediate steps for change. Strategies that work are worth repeating. However, what works for someone else, may not work for you. Developing your own personalized plan of action based upon your past victories is often a sure bet.
Use what you know about yourself to go forward into action. Ask for help when you need it and collaborate with others for support. If you take small steps over time, you can do and be whatever you desire. It can be terrifying to change, but you’ve done it over and over again, successfully! You have weathered many storms and come through on the other side. You can do it again. When you look back, you can see just how strong and capable you are!
Reflecting on your past can rid yourself of the fear of change and make room for growth in your life. In future articles, I will continue offering practical, step by step strategies for personal growth and development. I look forward to supporting you on your way to living in your true spirit! We are in this together!
