Romantic relationships can be tricky to navigate. There are dangers in over-thinking your circumstances and in not thinking about them at all. Sometimes you can become too comfortable and forget what true happiness should feel like, or be too uncomfortable and take your partner for granted. It’s all very awkward.
So how are you to know whether you are in the right relationship? There is no secret formula, but there are certain questions you can ask yourself:
1. Do You Do Things You Both Enjoy Together?
Do you both enjoy a certain hobby? How about a particular pastime? I’m talking about more than sexy times here, people. Do you both like to play video games together? Go on walks? Sit in cafes people watching? Paintballing? Anything that you both have in common that you enjoy as individuals and as a couple should be made a priority!
2. Do You Enjoy Time Apart?
An important factor to remember when you are part of a relationship is that you are still an individual human being. Your partner may mean the world to you, but they are still an addition to your already full and complete being, not part of you. If you are without them or alone, you are not lost. You will not simply fall apart or sit doing nothing until they return. You must maintain your own self-identity. You must have your own hobbies and time to develop yourself, as well as understanding and appreciating their individualism. Besides, differences keep things interesting!
3. Do You Fight Productively?
Nobody is perfect! Conflict is completely natural and I’m suspicious of any couples that say they never argue. Either they’re full of lies or they’ve never had a discussion with each other about anything ever. Sometimes you will feel a need to win an argument against you partner, or the urge to hammer your point home incessantly. Like I say, within reason it’s all natural.
What you should be aiming for within a relationship though is productive disagreements. Each of you should aim to understand the other person, to compromise, find common ground and most of all respect the others’ opinion. If you partner ignores, denies, or invalidates points that mean a lot to you then it’s time rethink your relationship.
4. Do You Share A Passion For Your Future?
There are so many sitcoms, movies, and books these days that reinforce the idea that it’s okay to settle for someone who may or may not come around to wanting a future with you eventually. If you want a future with someone and they seem disinterested or flaky, then it’s time to realize that you deserve someone who’s just as passionate as you are. Carrying around expectations that will probably never be fulfilled only leads to disappointment.
5. Are You Attracted To Them Mind, Body And Spirit?
Physical attraction is probably the number one reason we are motivated to pursue a relationship with somebody. As the relationship develops we should also become attracted to their personalities, their minds, their quirks and flaws. You should be excited and intrigued by what you partner will say and do next, and they should love everything about you as well.
6. Do You Communicate?
Perhaps the absolutely key to a healthy, wonderful relationship is communication. In a real, long-term relationship there should be no games, no lies, no anxiety and no worry. You should remember that your partner is not psychic and that you must convey how your feelings in order to get an appropriate response.
Never settle for or stay with someone who makes you feel anxious or who lies, they do not deserve your love, time or energy.
