By Darin Dillinger
It’s that moment you suspected – that moment you knew was coming. Your intuition knew it since your child was young. You fear that family, friends, and people you don’t know will judge you on your parenting skills. You look inward, and your self-confidence has been shaken to the core.
Your child has just come out to you.
In your era, it was shunned or frowned upon. However, today it’s not such a taboo. This younger generation feels free to be themselves, yet your generation still has a stigma on it.
Here are five suggested tip to help you deal with this situation:
1. Remember: It is not your fault.
You did nothing to cause your child to be gay. Recent studies show there is a genetic link to homosexuality. Click here to read one published in 2007.
2. Your child is looking to you for support.
Whether you agree or disagree with your child all they want is to know if they’re okay in your eyes. You don’t have to understand it but your kid is just as scared as you. There are groups for you. Check out PFLAG
3. Try to NEVER to question your child.
One of the worst, if not damaging things is to say “Are you sure?” More than likely your child has thought about this for months or even years before telling you. In fact, you’re probably one of the last they told. Try not to bring up religious beliefs unless they bring it up first.
4. Don’t assume your child is into unprotected sex, drugs, or really wants to be a stereotype.
From my experience when I came out, all three were assumed. Most gay teens turn to all these AFTER being rejected by family or friends. If given support and conversing rationally, you will see your child is just normal and is looking for guidance. Most of us aren’t into any of this stuff coming out.
5. Breathe and contemplate.
If you can’t hold it together and anger or irrational thoughts come in your mind when they come out to you, DO ONE THING. Hug them, breathe, and tell them “give me some time, I love you, but I need some time.” After that, there are hotlines for you to go to for an outside opinion. If that doesn’t feel work, try a friend or someone you may know with a similar situation.
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